Update #16

I guess it's time to get back on track.  I know it probably sounded like I was giving up, but I was just really mad at myself and  I just attack myself when I'm mad at myself.  So I have a schedule and maybe mapping that out will help me.

8/23 - 256
8/30 - 253
9/6 - 250
9/13 - 247
9/20 - 244
9/27 - 241
10/4 - 238
10/11 - 235
10/18 - 232
10/24 - 229

So that's 3lbs a week.  I've done that before.  I'm going to update once a week with rather I succeeded or not.  The reason I chose 10/24 as a stopping point is because I have a physical that day, but I plan to keep going.

Update #15

Just finished a large pizza.  Yep, pretty normal dinner.  Weighed myself for shits and giggles, up to 259.  So what, that's 14 lbs in a week and a half or so?  Why the fuck not.  This is the shit I have to deal with.  Yes I can lose weight, but I put it on like nothing.  I've always been a fat fuck.  Ever since I was a kid, I've been a fat fuck.  Ugly fat fucking sack of shit.  Doesn't matter what I do, I always go back to being a fat fuck that's good for nothing.  So why fight it?  I should just accept it.  Stop exercising, stop working, just lay here and be a fat fuck until I die.

Update #14

Ever since I left work today, I have just been pissed off.  Bad traffic, email is fucking up, and trying to fix it is slowing my computer down, making it hard to work on this.  I honestly won't be surprised if this closes on me.  I have Monday Night Raw on and it is just fucking stupid.  It always is, I'm not even sure why I watch it anymore.  I'm not good enough to have a girlfriend.  I'm still eating like shit and caring less and less about it.  I'm always going to be a fat sack of shit and women will always think I'm too fucking ugly to date.  So why even try improving?  I'll never get what I want. 

Update #13

Still eating like crap, I'm not sure I even care anymore.  What's the point of working my ass off if it's so easily undone.  It's not like it makes a difference.  I was down to 180 years ago and I was still flabby, still had a gut, still had man boobs.  I mean my body type always stays the same.  So again what's the point?  I can't attract a woman, so I should just get used to it.

Update #12

I'm a fat sack of shit.  Birthday came and went, ate way too much as usual.  I'm up to 254 lbs.  Seriously, anybody that ever says 1 lb = 3500 calories is a fucking piece of shit.  That is the biggest fucking lie ever.  That means I ate over 35,000 extra calories over 4 or 5 days.  And that's not in total, you still take into account the average amount is about 2000 per day.  So 10,000 plus 35,000.  I overate, but not 35,000 fucking calories worth.  I already know there's no fucking way I can win this most inspirational blog crap.  I hate this, I hate myself. 

Update #11

Well good news and bad news.  Good news is that I stuck with my promise to myself.  I haven't had junk food or fast food this week.  I had some Teddy Grahams, but they aren't horrible.  I mean it's not like getting Oreos or other cookies.  And I told myself I wasn't going to reward myself with junk food, so I'm regretting that, haha.  But really, things are a little better now, I'm not craving fast food like I was at the beginning of the week.

Bad news is that a few updates ago, I thought I was around 239, turns out I was wrong.  I was probably around 250.  Where my scale was broken, only part of the middle number was showing, so I'd see 2#9 or 2#0.  I thought the # was a 3 when the last number was 9 and 4 when it was 0.  I might not be explaining well enough, but the final point is I'm around 245 now.  So it does look like I at least lost about 5lbs. 

Update #10

I guess after today, it'll have been 6 days, leaving just Friday for my week-long promise.  So yes, I'm still doing good, no junk food or fast food.  It's been rough, and the thing is, that's only the beginning.  It feels like I've put all this work in and the most I'll see out of it is losing a few pounds, if that.  Hopefully, I will have lost some weight. 

For me, it can be easy to think of bad days as days where it will be the easiest to just give into a craving.  But on really good days, it can be just as easy to give into a craving.  On good days, obviously I'm feeling good and like I'm invincible and that just makes it all the easier to say, hey, a candy bar can't hurt, pizza(one of my biggest weaknesses) for dinner can't hurt.  But it does hurt losing weight.  And I know that, but no matter how many times I say that to myself, it's hard to quiet that voice saying just eat whatever you want.

Update #9

Third day and I really want a candy bar or something right now.  I figure that if maybe I can write about it, I'll avoid it.  I don't want to give in or make excuses.  I might have to pick up a few groceries tonight, so I want to say it here that I'm not going to get anything extra that I don't need.  But one good thing to look at, after tomorrow I'll be half way to a week.

Update #8

It's only been two days and this sucks.  I'll be honest, this isn't some cake walk(maybe not the best choice of words).  Part of it is that even though I'm not eating junk food, it's too soon to see any results.  And I think that might be one of the hardest things.  Once you can start seeing some results from your hard work things get a little easier, but at the beginning, you just have to tough it out.  We can see all the before/after stories and they make it look so quick and easy.  And I guess that might be part of why I'm writing this, because in between the before and after there is a lot of anger, frustration, and just negativity.  But to get where I want to be, I have to fight through all of that, and as I stated before, it sucks.

Update #7

Well, I haven't done too well this week.  I had pizza or fast food 3 nights and I had ice cream treats at the beginning of the week.  Some inspiration this is, ha.  It's not like anyone's reading this anyway.  I want to make a promise to myself.  I'm not going to eat any junk food this week.  And once I complete that, I'm not going to reward myself by being able to eat junk food for a day.  Because that turns from one day into several days.  Let's do this.

Update #6

Things are going ok.  I know I mentioned that we had snacks at work and I was happy that I didn't have any, but I had a few on Thursday and Friday.  Still, that's better than I usually do.  And at least, the snacks are pretty much gone now.  I haven't been eating completely right, but I am doing better than I was.  I've been good about making my dinner all week at home.  So that's a lot better than getting something like a large pizza or some huge fast food meal.  I weighed myself and I'm somewhere around 239 and 243, so I guess I have lost some weight.  The reason I have a range is because on the scale that doesn't display correctly, it reads what looks like 249, but the 4 is messed up.  I did a little testing by holding weights, and it seems like the 4 should be a 3.  On my other scaled, it read 243, but I think that scale may not be exact.

Doing yoga is still going well, haven't missed a day.  I figure I'll include a few pictures of my flexibility, which I want to improve.  The reason I'm so sweaty in these pics is because it's right after I finished a workout.

Update #5

So I've started again.  I've been good since Monday.  I'm still pretty down in the dumps over eating too much on the holiday weekend.  And my scale is kinda broke(I kicked after being mad with myself), it's digital and some of the lights don't come on anymore. But even though things are kinda crappy, I'm moving forward.  Hopefully I'll have a success to report soon.  Well, I guess I have a minor one.  They made a snack drop off at work and I've been able to resist getting anything.

Update #4

Well everything went to crap.  The 4th of July came and I expected that I wasn't going to eat well that day, but it's carried on into the weekend.  So the little progress I made at the beginning of the week is gone.  I'm still in the dumps about it, but I'm gonna try starting again.  I hope to be able to stick with it more this time around.  I know no one's reading this but me, but I'm still really embarrassed about failing. 

Update #3

So another day down and I'm still doing good.  I know 3 days isn't a big deal, but it's a start and you gotta start somewhere.  I guess I haven't described how I'm trying to change my diet.  I guess I'm kinda leaning towards a paleo-lite type diet.  I'm just trying to avoid processed foods and sugars.  I don't eat veggies so I've been juicing them. 

And I realized I called this my DDP Yoga blog, but I really haven't talked about DDP yoga.  I guess it's because the actual yoga is easy for me.  I haven't missed a day doing it since 6/1/12.  Now some days, I might just do it for 10 minutes, but that's pretty rare, I have to be feeling pretty bad to just do that.  So since I have no problem with doing the exercise, I'm focusing this more on what I eat. 

Update #2

Day #2 here.  Another good day of eating well.  I may have had a few too many chips and cheese at a friend's house, but I don't think I went horribly overboard.   I won't lie, this isn't easy.  I know that may seem overly dramatic, but changing your eating habits can be hard.  It's times like these that I do think that junk food can be a little addicting.  But I toughed it through another day, hooray, haha.  Hopefully, the longer I go, the easier it will get.  That's the way it was when I stopped drinking soda so much.  The first week sucked and then it got easier, maybe it'll be the same with food.

Update #1

Well time for my first update I guess.  So I'm trying to start changing my diet.  I hate the phrase "going on a diet" because that kinda implies it will end.  And that's not what I want.  I want to change my diet to healthier eating habits.  Less junk food and fast food obviously. 

So far today has been good.  I haven't had anything "bad" to eat.  At least nothing I consider bad.  Had a small protein shake for breakfast, then during work, I packed myself some things to eat, nuts, almond crackers(homemade), turkey for said crackers, and a couple of homemade protein bar things.  Now I'm looking at some grilled chicken tenders for dinner.  So it's a start.  Here are a couple of pics for where I'm starting from.

First Post

So DDPYoga.com is having a contest of the most inspirational blog, so I thought I'd enter.  I don't really think I'm going to be all that inspiring.  I'm overweight, but not horribly overweight, I'm not overcoming any injuries, I'm just a regular guy, more or less, trying to get in better shape.  But maybe that's inspiring in a way, that small successes can still feel great.  And maybe this will help keep me inspired to keep it up. 

So I guess a little bit about where I'm starting from.  I've already been doing DDPYoga for a year and it's helped me get in better shape, but my diet has remained bad.  So my main goal is to improve my diet.  Hopefully that will lead to weight loss, I'd like to get down to around 200lbs, I'm currently around 250lbs.  At one point I was around 300lbs, so I'm currently doing better than I was.

I'd also like to continue gaining flexibility, hopefully being able to do the splits both ways.

That's about all I have for now.  I suppose I'll post pictures in a future blog.